“I have breast cancer. Will you help me tell my story?”

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I’d like to share another amazing woman’s story and tell you how, in some small way, breast cancer photography helped this woman in her journey to recovery. I’m calling her “Rose”.

Our first contact with Rose was a phone call. She had a determined tone of voice on the phone, stating, ‘she didn’t want a consultation first’, ‘she was scheduled for a mastectomy’, ‘she would be bringing two friends with her for moral support’ and ‘she needed to get in right away now that she had made up her mind to do a photo shoot first’.

The following day three grim-faced ladies were on our doorstep, Rose leading the way, flanked by her two very skeptical friends. Rose made a striking first impression with her thick, shoulder-length, salt & pepper colored hair framing large expressive eyes. That day her eyes showed fear and fierce determination. During her photo shoot she revealed she was considering writing a book about her breast cancer journey and asked us if we would take the photos chronicling some of the significant steps and stages in her battle. We let her know we’d there for her whenever she called and how honored we were that she’d trust us in these most vulnerable moments.

We had four, post mastectomy, photo shoots through different steps of reconstruction and every photo shoot had a story. The evolution was something to behold perhaps even more on an emotional level than physical.

Shoot # 1. The first photo shoot was not long after her mastectomy. We made no attempt to minimize the emotions engraved upon her face- sorrow, loss, fear and determination. But that was only part of the story. Rose chose to wear black pants with a wide, embroidered, belt which was emblazoned with pink and red roses. Her expression, in juxtaposition with her colorful belt, let you know there was so much more to this fierce lady than your first impression.

Shoot # 2. The second photo shoot, meant to chronicle skin expanders, was more about love. For this shoot Rose arrived with her college-age daughter. And guess who was bald? Not Rose. Her daughter had shown up on Rose’s doorstep unannounced sporting a bald head as a show of solidarity for what lay ahead. The wardrobe selection for today was a prayer shawl. I learned there are groups of wonderful people who knit shawls of comfort and hope. I don’t know if all of the shawls are as beautiful as this shawl which looked like it was made of silk and mohair yarn with inspiring charms woven randomly through-out. While this shawl came from someone unknown, what certainly was known, is that the hands which created it made it with loving intention and that love was present with us on that day.

Shoot # 3. When I opened our front door there were two huge smiling eyes looking directly at me awaiting my reaction. “Rose, your eyes are so much more beautiful without all that hair!” Sure enough Rose decided proactively to shave her head and therefore spare herself the pain of finding clumps of hair on her pillow and everywhere else- the anticipated side effect of chemo treatments. And she really did look beautiful.

We then went a long time with no word from Rose or her daughter and began to worry about her but didn’t want to call her home and potentially upset her or her family. Finally, on a long shot, I searched Facebook for her and her daughter hoping I would find a hint about her prognosis. And there she was in a recent picture skiing with her family and enjoying life! I decided I could safely call her to see if she was ready for another photo shoot.

When she got back to me she said she was feeling great and wasn’t sure she would do another shoot after all but would let me know. Rose explained she didn’t think she really needed to tell her story now, that the process of documenting it had helped her get through the long ordeal and had given her the strength and motivation to keep on fighting through her despair. The goal of ‘helping others’ had ultimately helped her.

Shoot # 4. Rose called again. Friends had told Rose. “You have to tell your story. There are people in need waiting for it.” Now it was time for the happy pictures; the ones that give us hope for ourselves and our loved ones.

We did print out all the images Rose selected for her digital book though I truly don’t know if she published it or not. I do know Rose touched us and I hope her story from my eyes helps someone else.

So what the heck is boudoir photography anyway?

I’ve got to be honest with you I’ve never been a fan of boudoir photography. Guess that sounds funny coming from the mouth of someone who specializes in nude photography in Phoenix, AZ and before that in Denver, CO.  For years we tried to distance ourselves from the concept of boudoir photography,  avoiding every reference to the term “boudoir” in all our marketing and on our web-site.  Twenty years ago, when we started BodyPhotage, boudoir photography was soft focus lenses, pink feather boas,  big, poufy hair and too much make-up.  Kind of like “glamour shots” in cheesy lingerie.  We wanted our photography to be about the art of the body; sculptural, classic and timeless.   It took us a few years to bring our style into the mainstream, which should be no surprise to anyone, when you consider how many  “gentlemen’s bars” there are compared to museums of art in any town or city. 

Twenty years later though, here we are adding the words “boudoir photography” Phoenix, AZ to all of our information.  I hope that doesn’t make me a hypocrite.  Boudoir photography has gone mainstream now and people use the word “boudoir” as a catch-all phrase for sexy photos, sensual photos, artistic nude photos and intimate photos.   Boudoir photography has grown up and the better photographers have developed their own style of boudoir photography.  We’ve evolved as well. Welcome to the new boudoir- sassy, sensual, sexy and sophisticated!

I’m just a real person.

 

Within a few minutes of meeting a client the other day I heard this, “I’m just a real person.”  More than likely my facial expression registered a complete blank because we are all ‘real people’ with no need for the limiting adjective ‘just’ preceding the comment.  What she meant, of course, is that she isn’t a model or a fitness, figure, or body building competitor.  I think she wanted affirmation, mostly from herself, and maybe a little from me, that she’s a worthy subject for our kind of photography.  It’s for people like her that we started BodyPhotage so women could see the unique beauty of their body and begin to appreciate, accept and celebrate themselves.

Our lives are like a crazy quilt.

You are the sum of all you have ever been and experienced in your lifetime,  like a crazy quilt.  We all know what a quilt is, but crazy quilts of the very best kind were made from scraps of fabrics saved from items of clothing worn by you or family members and decorated by their creator with embroidery, buttons and sometimes hand paintings.  The family heirloom I had was mostly made of silks and fancy fabrics that came from gowns and dresses commemorating special events and memorable occasions and was lovingly embellished with artistic embroidery and hand paintings with dates and names of loved ones and memories long gone.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we wore our life like our crazy quilt growing ever more colorful and interesting as we add to our life experiences?  With age there does come a time when we feel increasingly invisible, described kindly as being “elderly” and just plain “old” by others.  But every person has been so much more than that.  They were someone’s precious child, perhaps a brother or a sister, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a lover, a provider and caregiver, very often a parent and a grandparent.   Wrapped in our crazy quilt, to ward off the chills of old age, we‘d be visible again; the highlights of our life displayed artistically across our quilt to be admired or to serve as a source of conversation and connection.

With this in mind, I ‘d like to share a story we were told by one of our customers and why she felt so strongly about having some artistic bodyscape portraits done by us.

This is the story she told us. “One day I went to visit my grandma in the assisted living facility where she’d recently moved.  In her room was a life-size, cardboard cut-out of a Vegas-style showgirl complete with a feather-plumed headpiece.  ‘Grandma, what are you doing with that in your room?’”

“Why honey, that’s me,” her grandmother answered. “When I was young and beautiful like you are now, I was a Vegas showgirl.”

All she could think was that her grandmother had a whole life about which she’d  known next to nothing and that her sweet grandmother had so many untold stories to share.

Our client explained, “I try to take care of myself but I’m not getting any younger. I’ll earn every wrinkle and gray hair along the way but I really want to have sensuous pictures of me as a reminder to myself and others that I was once young and beautiful too!”

I’m betting she’ll still be beautiful years to come and hoping people take the time to look at the crazy quilt she created of her life.

See how her sensual pictures may have looked. BodyPhotage

“Can I bring someone with me to my photo shoot?”

“May I bring someone with me during my photo shoot?”

Occasionally we get this question.  While my answer is a qualified “yes,”  I do like to know more about the underlying reason for the question before I answer.

You can tell quite a bit by the wording of the question.  Such as, “What do you think about husbands being there for the photo shoot?” Or, “Are there pros and cons to having your husband here during the shoot?”  And this one, “My husband would like to watch.  Is that OK?”  Another is “I’m kind of nervous.  Could I bring a girlfriend with me for moral support?”  Can you hear the difference behind the way someone expresses the question?

People have different reasons for asking.  Some want us to say, “No.” Some want us to help them come up with good reasons for not having an audience so they can explain to a husband or boyfriend why they shouldn’t come along, just in case it’s suggested.  My most detested reason; some men are control freaks and these women probably shouldn’t do a nude photo shoot until after the divorce. Of course, other women are married to voyeurs and if they happen to be exhibitionists, it can work for them.  And others have friends considering shoots themselves and need someone else to do it first.  Then, there are the rare few who’d like someone with them for safety concerns, though that trepidation is usually dispelled after meeting us.

In another post I’ll tell you how I answer the question, “Can I bring someone with me during my shoot?’

See the beautiful sensual photographs for yourself

 

Breast Cancer and Personal Decisions

Breast cancer touches all of us, either by way of a personal battle, or that of someone we love, a family member or friend, or even a friend of a friend. It’s a concern, even a fear, we hold in our hearts and minds every day especially on the day of our mammograms and the long, scary wait for our results.   My mother had two radical mastectomies about 30 years apart. A number of close friends have been diagnosed with breast cancer and my husband and I have had the honor of photographing quite a few women who have shared their journey with us by way of pre surgical and/or  post surgical pictures.  I’m such a strong believer in empowering women to make their own informed decisions in life about what is best for them.  I still can’t imagine how these brave and amazing women absorb the news they have breast cancer and are still able, within just days, to analyze and make the critical decisions on the course of their battle plan.

I’d like to periodically post some of the stories women have shared with us regarding their decision to have pictures taken as a result their diagnosis.  Some people won’t understand why anyone would decide to take photographs and others will ‘get it.’  It doesn’t matter what you think or even what I think about this.  What matters is what it means to the women making the decision.  If our photography has been helpful in some way to the breast cancer survivors we’ve photographed, then I want other woman to know we are here for them.

Twelve years ago or more we got a phone call from a woman stating she needed to get in immediately for a photo shoot and she didn’t have time for or want a consultation first.   She’d just seen one of our ads and decided on the spot that she wanted to have some artistic pictures taken of her breasts.  She went on to explain in an understandably shaky voice that she was scheduled for a double mastectomy in three days and needed to get in for pictures before her surgery.   The following day she was at our studio and shared a bit of her story with my husband Darrell.  She is just a tiny person and she explained how she’d always liked her breasts, that along with all the other bigger issues confronting her now, she was also grieving at the prospect of losing this part of her body that made her feel pretty, feminine, attractive.    She and Darrell sat there for probably 30-minutes just talking and crying a bit before beginning the shoot.  While she’d specifically stated she wanted the pictures to focus on her breasts, Darrell wanted to get some pictures of other parts of her body so that she’d know she was beautiful in so many ways and that that wasn’t going to change.  During the shoot, he asked permission to take a specific picture of her back and buttocks to which she agreed though with more of a, ‘if you really want to attitude.’  He took the picture and a Polaroid as well of the same pose so she could have positive feedback immediately.  Seeing the Polaroid she commented, “Yeah, it’s nice. Kind of arsty fartsy though!”  And that was that.

Two days later, she and her husband came by to look at her proof sheets from the shoot.  While she was momentarily out of the room her husband turned directly to us, staring pointedly into our eyes and said, “Thank you so much.  My wife has barely spoken since getting the diagnosis and she certainly hasn’t smile.  After her photo shoot when she got home I asked her how it went and she looked up at me with a smile and told me, “I’m ready now.  I’m going to go upstairs, light some candles, and get in the bathtub with a glass of wine.”  We weren’t quite sure how the photo shoot had that impact, but we were so grateful that in some way we’d helped her to get to that point.

Remember that “artsy fartsy” picture?  It’s a beautiful art piece now, still hanging over their bed or at least it was when we were at their home one time for dinner.

May I bring “!?!” to the photo shoot?

Most of our photo sessions are a whole lot of fun but far more tame than I suspect most people might imagine, given that we are fairly well-known for nude photography.  Our nudes are usually black and white with strong shadowing.  While some images may have an erotic feel, they aren’t particularly showy or graphic, although people have their own definition of what is showy and what is erotic.

On rare occasions, we’ll get a phone call from someone inquiring about doing a photo shoot who begins the conversation with a lot of awkward pauses preparing me for a question I really don’t want to have to answer.  So I’ll often interrupt and ask the caller if they’ve looked at our website because I think our site gives a very visual depiction of our style.  For those who haven’t done their homework, I’ll suggest they take a look first and then call us back.  That usually eliminates people asking if we’ll take pictures of  “this “ or “that,” if you know what I mean.

So the other day, we had a call from someone who’d already met with us and booked her photo session.  She started the conversation referencing our suggestion that she feel free to bring some personalized props with her for some of the shots.  Then, the hemming and hawing began.  “I’m a little nervous about asking you this,” and “Feel free to say ‘no’ to this,” and “I’ll understand if you don’t want to do this.”  I’m thinking to myself, “Oh no.  She’s going to ask me about bringing a sex toy to the shoot.”  Finally she comes out with it, asking if she can bring some sexy, lace-up, black boots and an unloaded gun.  Phew. That was a relief.

See the beautiful sensual photos for yourself BodyPhotage, Inc

Also check out our new book Colorado Uncovered.

The First Time I Was The Beautiful One.

Several years ago a woman in her mid 40’s came for a consultation in contemplation of a photo shoot, which is how we like to begin the process.  Seems like you wouldn’t, perhaps shouldn’t, show up for a nude photo shoot without first determining you feel safe & comfortable with the photographer/s.  She’d brought a female friend to the consultation for moral support.  As is usually the case, she booked a photo shoot for a few weeks out and showed up for the shoot, on time, by herself.

As you might expect, most people come in a bit nervous never having done anything like this before and not sure what they are most nervous about; being naked in front of someone they don’t know or more fearful they aren’t going to look any good.  Five minutes into the shoot, the nervousness faded and two hours later she was walking a lot taller, with more confidence, and the knowledge that she was indeed beautiful in her own body.   We set an appointment for her to come back to look at the proof sheets, hugged her good-bye at the door saying we’d see her next week.

Darrell looked out the window about 10 minutes later and commented that he thought she was still parked out front and was concerned that perhaps she was having car trouble.  Before he could get out to inquire and check on her, she drove away.  The following week, Darrell asked if she had some car problems after her photo shoot.  This is how she explained the delay in leaving; “I’m a very successful and confident business woman.  However, as you probably noted, my friend who was with me for the consultation, is an exceptionally beautiful woman.  She and I have been best friends for more than 20 years and when I got to my car it hit me that this was the very first time that I felt like the beautiful one.  It was just such an unexpected and emotional revelation that I sat outside in my car crying for a while and processing the experience. It’s not a big deal really.”

But really it is. Sometimes it’s important to feel that special.